Day 1. (How many times can I use the same title?)

Birdie is 4 months.
Four months.
I finally feel "normal".
Well, normal-ish.
So I'm going to write a weight-loss blog. Which is kind of laughable. Because I am typically not good at losing weight. Or, more accurately, I suck at losing weight.
Until now.
Until now?
Until now.
50 in 40. Nine months up, nine months down, right?! I'm getting a bit of a slow start. Four months slow... Here's the thing. I didn't really struggle with my weight until after I had babies. I mean really struggle. Not the "I'm so fat even though I weight 120 lbs and wear a size 2 jeans" of my college days. And not the "we go out to eat all the time and I eat as much as he does but I put on ten pounds" of my newlywed days. Like most girls, I thought I struggled before but I was just letting insecurities rule my identity.
And now, after carrying and birthing three beautiful little girls, I really struggle with my weight. I am fifty pounds overweight. I am not that same insecure girl who thought she was fat because she didn't look like the girls on the magazine covers. I feel really good about who I am--who God has made me to be. I love my life. I've made it through some challenging days and am really grateful for who I've become. Losing this extra weight is something I've been hoping to do for a long time. I want to be athletic. I want my girls to be healthy and active. I want to feel proud of what I've accomplished.
So now.
It's time.
50 pounds. 40 weeks.